During the adoption home study process, we have completed lots of paperwork, written autobiographies, answered discussion questions, been FBI-fingerprinted, been cleared with the Child Abuse & Neglect center, provided countless documents (marriage certificate, birth certificates, pet vaccination records, college diplomas, tax records, etc) as well as a complete financial statement. We were subjected to a comprehensive physical by our Doctor, resulting in bookoos of blood tests, TB tests, and urine tests. We had to get local criminal checks run, get our co-workers and family to write recommendation letters, and had to get about 10 different things notarized.
We compiled a reading list of some of the most useful adoption books and began reading: Attachment in Adoption, Transracial Adoption, What to Expect the First Year, The Legal Process of Adoption, the Adoption book for family and friends, etc. We are reading books, blogs, articles, forums - - you name it, we are getting informed.
We arranged our finances to prepare for the upcoming/ongoing expenses of infant adoption.
We have had a couple of really good meetings with our social worker, Tyler. He, too is a adoptive parent and is very understanding of what we are going through. He is very knowlegable and kind and always makes us feel like we can ask him anything. He understands the steps, the transitions, the process and giving unconditional love to a child not born to you. He gets it.
We have now officially completed all of the required meetings with our social worker for our home study approval. There is only one step left: the home visit.
Now here is where I get nervous... I see the dust on my ceiling fans, the clutter in my closet, the 25 Rubbermaid containers full of unknown stuff stacked in the spare room. I see the cat hair and the dirty wood floors. I see the unpainted hallway and the clothes stacked on the dryer. I can't imagine my living space being "ready" for an inspection in just 2 weeks.
But, I have read some blogs and articles on the home visit. Apparently, it is not a "white glove" inspection. Social workers are understanding of the realities of life (packed closets, clutter, dust). They are really looking for safety concerns, adequate living space for the child, and a clean/healthy environment. I'm sure the folks at DHR have seen it all! But it still makes me feel anxious. I wish I had a huge house that was organized, clutter-free and perfect. Although I don't know if that exists anywhere.
Since Tyler is an adoptive dad himself, I am hoping he sees the potential in our living space. I hope he overlooks the crooked light fixtures, the broken closet rod, the mismatched wood flooring, and the dusty baseboards. Instead, I hope he sees the positives: a paid-for home; a new, clean ready-to-move-in nursery with a new smoke detector; the coziness of a living room full off photos of family and friends; the tidy kitchen with a basket full of healthy fruits and veggies; the baby locks on the cabinets with chemicals; the newly-mounted fire extinguisher by the door... And most of all, two of the most eager soon-to-be parents he will EVER meet.
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